So we’re in July … just like that … Phew! I began this post on the last day of June, but let’s just say variables got in the way of posting. Don’t yah hate when ‘things’ beyond your control hamper your progress?! (Me too uggh 😦 ). But…onto lighter conversations!
‘As I get older’. Ha! Never expected to say that so soon 🙂 But seriously though, the longer we live on this earth, the more inherent truths and facts of life become (more) apparent.
If we pay close attention to what is being said to us and by us (yes, myself included! without being overly repetitive/paranoid in our thinking), is the more we are able to put the pieces of life on the broader spectrum together.
I personally never discount my first instinct or the minor things said (even in passing) without consciously reflecting on what my heart says and feels is true.
When I choose to ignore these cues, it inevitably leads to the detriment of myself and by extension those I hold dear.
The same holds true for taking and accepting help or advice from others. I speak from personal experience and saw things literally fall apart when we become so myopic that cannot open our minds to see another point of view – even in hindsight upon reflection and meditation (which is so important by the way!).
I recall a lesson learnt from a rerun of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air last week. I caught this particular episode midway through, but I distinctly remember what Uncle Phil said to Will when he took up a part-time job at a restaurant to pay for the outfit and such for his school prom (I believe it was).
He wanted to earn his way, instead of becoming a privileged kid like Uncle Phil’s kids (aka his cousins). Uncle Phil who was a successful attorney living in Bel Air – one of the most affluent neighbourhoods in Los Angeles, one day surprised his nephew at work who was dressed in his get-up (costume) for work.
Will later revealed why he tore up the cheque his uncle gave him. Uncle Phil’s words to his nephew were (to paraphrase despite the quotation marks),
(In a deep male voice) “Will, we all need each other in life. Do you think I didn’t get help to get where I am today? I did and so I want you to accept this money because you are just like one of my kids.”
Aww right? Yep. What I took from that episode (apart form the tear-jerking comic relief after a hard day) is that you must be able to find a balance between privilege, entitlement and hard work.
When we become too dependent on anyone or anything – whether it is an institution, person, government or job (I actually talk about this in my second book, How To Find Yourself & Claim What’s Yours), it can be a severe shock to our system when that ‘crutch’ is suddenly no more.
In the same regard, you can’t be too proud and a-know-it-all that you think you cannot learn anything new from anyone, since everyone’s experience is so diverse and complex based on where they have been in life and so too is their ability to absorb, process and apply information.
One person’s life changing moment is relative based on their vantage point, exposure and ability to receive with an open mind and heart that is unfettered from pride, judgement, prejudice and haughtiness.
This is the way of the world and it’s one of the inherent frailties in our human condition. Having said all of that, I will say again going with your gut and discernment is part 1 to unlocking the life you want to live and the things/people you want to attract.
Just like that, we are on the cusp of lots of historical events happening in our world. My much anticipated Music, Arts & Motivation Festival 2018 (at least in my eyes) is ONE month away.
I’m not saying by any stretch of the imagination that my event is historic, but just alluding to the fact that I would have never dreamt of hosting events, public speaking or even writing books for that matter.
To follow from what was said above, our world is not one-dimensional. and neither should be our thinking. Not to sound cliche, but no man is an island and we all need each other in order to survive in this world. If I did not listen to others (taking from each bit of advice what I could at the time), I would have never been on this path.
I’ll share a little about my WHY (since so many new people ask)…
When I began blogging in 2008 (just for self-expression and a creative outlet for my own healing and catharsis), I did not have all the answers. I did it because I loved to write and had something to get out of my mind.
I was permanently employed on a full-time basis and at this point had no inkling to be even published in the press voraciously (for motivational stuff especially), write books or do public speaking (especially the latter since I had humongous stage fright, which you can also read how that began and was eventually overcome in my memoir).
I knew I was a good writer, but at that point I did not know exactly what I wanted to write. I shared my writing at that time with my co-workers only. A few family members and friends too, but mostly my colleagues at work who I felt comfortable with because we spent so many hours of our days within close proximity.
They were my confidants and advisers and some of them knew best what I was experiencing at the time.
When I turned 30! (Yep!), I penned my thoughts on a sheet of paper, printed it in coloured ink and carried it around in my handbag for a few weeks and showed it to close friends during my week long birthday celebrations. Then when I got to work, everyone could all relate no matter how far from, or beyond that milestone they were.
I saw their face light up as they read my musings, which was by then on this tattered script. And guess what else happened? Most of them told me that I should send it into the newspapers. I didn’t really want to (since it was so personal and private to me), but I eventually listened (even getting turned down by the first newspaper!).
And that’s how ‘the dream was won’.
That very first published article rejuvenated my passion and true love (after a hiatus) and that’s how my writing career began and I started writing books (upon the advice of my papa).
Subsequent to which, when the first book Thinking out Loud was self-published in 2011 (yes, before the famous song), I was invited to speak both in Trinidad and the United States, for work and for fun.
And well, the rest as they say is history.
Long story longer, although people were writing to me and saying in person how much my work touched them, I was still unsure about my writing and speaking up until last year actually! And I was very honest in saying so at my public event in May 2017.
Each time I do one of those events, I ask myself if I should really undergo this all over again especially considering everything that comes before and after (I ‘swear’ it’s like giving birth) and everyone keeps saying in different ways and different days:
“Girll you can’t stop now! After you inspired everybody, are you crazy? I will help you next time…Girl, you have to continue, you have no idea how good you are and what your events do for us…I’m so impressed, I can’t believe you are doing all of this from Trinidad…Carolyn, I keep telling you should take this up the islands…you keep getting better and better. Wow, congratulations, from what I see here this is a world class event, I had no idea it was all of this…this is your signature event! Girl, my husband can’t stop talking about you…”
Phew!! So after ALL of that, silly me I let my ego and tears of happy-cray-zee-fulfilling-grandiose thoughts confuse the practicality and enormity of the entire affair and after procrastinating and bi#ching about how I did not feel the ‘reward’ is worth the challenges along the way, I continue to trudge along. Especially when you hear things like this. I just fall to pieces each time I review the video playback.
Now, I am not saying this to get sympathy or pity support. I am simply sharing this story so that ‘come-what-may’ (if I decide to move to the Antarctic and become an Eskimo one day) you will know that in order to undertake anything you truly want in life, it is not going to be easy.
Lots of folks approach me for advice to write, to speak or become an ‘entrepreneur’. Sometimes after listening to their story and trying to (cleverly) find out what is THEIR WHY and observing their modus operandi, I seem to have the ability to discern (in some cases) and foretell that this type of life is NOT for everybody.
It’s NOT an easy road, especially if it doesn’t come naturally (innate) and coming from a pure place of giving and sharing for the benefit of helping others.
If those two items are absent, your ‘staying power’ may also become absent when you are unable to (consistently and naturally) attract the people and situations to make the journey easier and possibly quicker.
On the other hand, when those variables are present, it may appear to the (surface) onlooker that everything is flowing like a song and always works out the way you want it to. Maybe because you have a spring in your step, unshakable resilience, fortitude and seem to be operating with effortless ease. (It may even seem like sorcery
among other things if you haven’t developed this ability (as yet) or experienced it for yourself).
On this note, I will impart this. We learn subjects and theories at school to enjoy a better standard of living and quality of life. At that young age, at times we are unaware of this notion of passion and purpose (especially for the older-schoolers).
Those concepts may not have been coined in those days, but even if you are aware how to make it sustainable, follow through with it in a way that looks sincere, effortless and flawless to the trained/discerning eye … the path to ‘success’ by your terms may still be fraught with challenges.
And even so, how do you find the people that would want to ‘invest’ their time and hard earned dollars in your project/business/creative endeavors which may be competing for a multitude of other things?
If I had all the answers, then well I’d be rich and I’m not – at least not to a modern society whose instruments for measurement may vary.
I’ll end with this: If you’d like to hear from those who have truly walked this long, sometimes rocky path and are true orators and genuine in their delivery, you can click here to check out the July 2018 line-up of my re-branded event: Music, Arts & Motivation Festival 2018 (formerly Book Talk & Jazz) by selecting the events tab.
If you’re still not hooked, you can email or call me at firstname.lastname@example.org/(868)-798-8596, visit my social media pages and/or YouTube channel for more info/video clips, which are being loaded on an ongoing basis, so don’t forget to subscribe!
For tickets, you can click on this link or text CLAIM IT to (868)-798-8596.
Carpe Diem & Endless Love! Carolyn x