Make believe & Fantasy

Her eyes seemed to glaze over with a mysterious amusement as she stared hypnotized at the ocean way off in the distance over her balcony. Slowly shaking her head Celeste muttered under her breath, “Who would have thought it would all play out this way …”

I wrote the above lines in response to a question posed in a writer’s group. If I ever got up the nerve to write a body of fiction, I reckon this is how it would begin.

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Photo by Ravi Roshan on Unsplash

Fiction writing & poetry I once thought was not going to be something I’d master or even want to do. Despite formally studying the mechanics of both, I still thought this to be a (sad, but real) fact of life: That no matter how much I did or didn’t want to do something, reality is reality and fantasy is fantasy. Such is life.

Then life happened (!) and I penned some very real emotions that I never wanted anyone else to see, save for a few close ones (at the time) who agreed these poems were too relatable not to share. They said anyone who was honest with accepting those [hidden] feelings in order to heal and progress would read to the end.

And so I published a short collection in July 2016. Still (sappy) poetry writing is not something I’d want to make a career of doing (and I still haven’t tried fiction writing).

What’s the moral of this little ‘story’ you’re probably mouthing (under your breath if you’re still at work, or trying to multi-task in between chores at home, or on your commute). Brevity on the other hand I was once good at, but not so much since taking up this career/vocation in life. (You must give me points for trying and my honesty though 😉

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Photo William Daigneault on Unsplash

 

One too many times in life we wonder (when we finally decide to pause and come up for air): What in tarnation went wrong there?? 

You were going along your merry way in a job, business deal, friendship (or such), or just enjoying life then … Boom!

Like a flying saucer that came out of nowhere, that fantasy you seemed to be enjoying with hopeful or misplaced deluded intentions seemed to evaporate almost as if it never existed and you imagined it all in your head (much like the flying saucer!). 

 

 

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Photo by Kai Brame on Unsplash

How do you make it LAST? Or rather, how do you know (for certain) if it’s ever really REAL in the first place?

First things first. Often times people blur the lines between the various facets of their lives (kinda like doing laundry, or keeping your wardrobe organized. You keep your socks in one drawer, nightwear in one drawer, jeans and ‘party’ clothes [or religious wear] separate from your career get-ups clothes or seasonal wear.)

 

We get so caught up in the (heat of) the moment at times (especially in our wild-eyed youth) that we don’t read the signals that may be coming our way.

There are few people that can mix business with pleasure and keep it [totally] hidden from the rest of the world because they are respectful of the brand they represent, as well as the space of other people in their immediate environment.

It can be total extremes but both to our detriment (if we go to the extreme with our feelings or ‘advice’ and it’s not reciprocated, or in the right timing!). Phew that’s like a huge chunk of my EARLY life experiences and lessons I honestly do not wish to rehash. Especially the aspect of timing of whether ‘a thing’ is real, or once was, or could have been … if & only if I was fully immersed/aware in the moment to catch it in time.

Back to the future and how to make it last (relative to you of course).

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Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

You are equipped to steer your life towards your desired outcome based on that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach (intuition) and your prior life lessons you’ve collected under your belt (not literally of course). You can do it whether or not you think you have experienced enough to make informed choices without involving others and relying on their interpretation of your life experience based on where they’ve been in life.

 

Life is a series of trial and error moments that we learn to navigate over time. I honestly do not think anyone can fully master this, far less master it on anyone else’s behalf since you must do what’s right for you after you’ve listened (or paid for) all the well-meaning advice.

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Photo by Yannis A on Unsplash

It’s a given that if we don’t begin with a solid foundation (spiritually and by way of a good education, skill or trade to live comfortably) while regularly making time to recharge and become resilient before our problems have time to fester, then interventions will become necessary when life throws us those inevitable curveballs.

I have been following a relationship coach on YouTube around the same time I took the plunge to publish those poems and there’s one thing he said that really hit home and stuck: “It’s really hard to mess up a good thing.” His name is Matt and you can find him here. His target audience is really ladies (which I am, but I’m sure men can relate!).

The profundity of that statement though! It’s really hard to mess up a good thing, or something that’s meant to be. If you do, I’m not judging anybody, but you have to be really inane (not to be confused with insane!) to let a good thing pass you by. He’s a relationship coach, but any advice can be adapted to almost any aspect of our lives.

In my opinion if everyone can learn to communicate what they are feeling in a way that is understandable and without overtones of emotion [even when tempers flare], then I believe there can be world peace joking everyone would be on the same page.

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Photo by Jens Johnsson on Unsplash

Rejection can be a debilitating fear, but if the fear is so overpowering then I truly believe we won’t ever be totally successful in career, business, finances, or love.

I’ve listened and documented the stories of sooo many entrepreneurs and career-minded professionals over the years to arrive at the conclusion that business and relationships affect the other. If you can’t get one right, the other will suffer in some way. Everlasting joy and peace would be elusive, fleeting and intermittent and so would TRUST.

We decide how the pieces are placed (and fit) in this jigsaw puzzle of life. We can’t rely on other people to form opinions and events that affect our entire lives. I agree that some begin at an advantage, but many times when things appear or feel too easy we take them for granted and at times develop an inflated ego that stymie universal progress.

To continue along in our thinking that we’re at the pinnacle of success, beauty, joy and peace is failing to see the bigger picture and life in the wider context as we close ourselves off from future experiences for growth. If on the other hand, we look at obstacles in life as an impetus to push harder (no matter how small or large they seem in our world) we’d always be one step ahead of getting the puzzle to our challenges solved and closer to reaching our goals and what our ideal happy life is for us.

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Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

If we learn to speak the same language; tap into our true emotions, bite the bullet (so to speak) and communicate our truths to the right people at the right times, we can move in the same direction instead of running away from the issues, playing mind games or finding or imploring others to solve our problems.

 

We will then make giant leaps in the right direction and get everyone progressing without ‘force feeding’ them to do what we say.

If we don’t we may wake up one day with the same problems or issues covered over with memories of fleeting dreams/fantasies of make-believe, of what could have been and unanswered questions trapped in a time that has elapsed.

Carpe Diem! April is upon us, let’s make it count!

Carolyn x

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A&E Musiq Fest May 2017 (formerly Book Talk & Jazz) – photo credit Neville B. Alexander 

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