Hullo! And just like that, we’re into the month of February. I know I’m a few days late, but it’s the month of LOVE. The month of birthdays, including family, friends AND the legend himself Bob Marley (rest his blessed soul).
February is the month that marks the onset of Carnival festivities in these parts (masquerade, competitions, steelpan). It also happens to be the month of sunny weather in some parts of the globe. The slow melting of snow, or the beginning of more icy wind chills and frigid conditions.
Since we’re on the topic of LoVe, I thought I’d update my blog from where I left off in 2018 as my take on this whole mysterious topic expands. I chose to eventually publish my writings on it in book form, since some of us never quite figure it out or are willing to talk about it openly.
What can I say about LOVE? Way before I wrote an entire collection of poetry on the subject, I penned a few articles in a chapter in my first book – none of which I ever intended to publish and place in the public domain.
Back then my fear of people’s opinions and ‘judgements’ on my life were very real.
I did ask a few of my friends and co-workers at the time to give them a read and the responses were woaaa!
The response especially from the males my age and younger and the ladies who were older than I, was let’s just say – not at all what I expected. It was wayy better, since I could see their eyes grow larger and smiles light up their faces as they could relate to the content so much.
Those moments were truly unforgettable and though I had my day job, I was encouraged to write again.
I remember guys at work penning their own poems of their experiences and bringing them to my desk for me to read. That was surreal. A couple years later again, I remember one guy (away from the office) having the opposite reaction. He just read one of them silently and repeated the last line in that article and said very matter-of-factly,
“Yeah exactly what you said, it’s emotional dead weight so why even waste your time on something or somebody like that.”
More than 10 years later, (unbeknownst to him) those words never left me.
It wasn’t even a question. It was sorta like a silent command that he was too polite to say aloud and if I could read minds, it would translate to, “What the heck is wrong with you woman. Good grief. You are too good for that.”
Yeah this friend was always confused as to why I’d hang onto things and people of that nature for so long. Both in our 20s back then, but it became clear at that point that men are made up completely different from ladies.
I follow writers around the world who conduct studies and pen their findings to help others find ‘the ONE’ and a deeper look at life, so I always seemed to attract people in our local context intrigued by the same things.
I guess it will remain a puzzle why we fall for the wrong ones or seem to be unlucky in love, since some of us don’t appear to lack confidence or game and appear to have everything going for us at times. I suppose that along with the Bermudez Triangle mystery and why people write all those country westerns to mend their achy breaky hearts will also remain unsolved.
Alas! In 2011 I got up the nerve to publish those thoughts in my first book and voice an audio version. The impact of those responses also blew me away! Coming back down from that cloud, love has always seemed to mystify the folk of the day. Shakespeare couldn’t quite figure it out. Not even Bob (Marley) mastered that one too much. Neither the creators of the movie (or the boat) Titanic (apparently).
Yet, we creatives and hopeless romantics still continue to take a stab at it (again, not to be taken literally – though love interpreted to have gone wrong making its way to the news for this reason, could have simply been a big miscommunication or an improper fit at that time).
LOVE (or something like it). Some shy away from it. Some rush into it. Some get fooled by it. Some welcome it. Some put up with it – just for the rush of it – like many other thrills.
I remember debating over (several) drinks, or in between my work-from-home-stuff, the pros & cons of marriage and such. With my males friends in particular, since ladies tend to have a more emotionally skewed view. (Not that I consider myself male by any stretch. Last disclaimer I promise!).
But yep, love can be fun, funny, elusive and nerve-wracking all at the same time. If you allow yourself to be swept away by that ‘young-love-giddy-headed-feeling’ likened to your first crush – which can happen multiple times during your life, that thing called love can really play a number on you. You can pretty much find yourself in a tail-spin!
Chemistry can be irresistible if it’s 2-sided. Mix that in with intellectual stimulation, adventure, common goals and values and mindsets and backgrounds! What you got there is … a chemical and physical reaction!
Now, what living person can honestly resist that (successfully) for too long? How about if you think you’ve already found your ONE? Can there be more than ONE (one, for you)? What is ONE + ONE if you’re already committed to who you think is YOUR ONE?
Ohemgee. That’s one for Shakespeare if he were alive today.
It’s almost lunch time (as I write this), so I’ll end here and leave you with one more morsel of food for thought (below this pic).
Love is a gamble.
Love is a choice.
True love is glaring. There’ll be no shadow of a doubt where true (2-way) undying love is concerned. It won’t be forced, or arduous or painstaking or one-sided. It’ll just flow … effortlessly once the two hearts are OPEN.
I believe when you’ve attracted YOUR ONE, it’ll last a lifetime and withstand most things that come your way. It’ll withstand loss of career, loss of fortune, loss of loved ones, kids or the lack thereof.
When you’ve found your TRUE ONE, they’ll help you recover any of those things with emotive communication that will eventually be intuitive and not even require a lot of words at times.
YOUR TRUE ONE, will intuitively know when to give you space. They’ll allow you to do your thing or recover/regroup, because the communication and trust was built over time and earned.
YOUR TRUE ONE will not hold petty stuff against you, or question your motives or honesty because you are equally yoked and aligned in every way. Otherwise you simply don’t belong together and will always find ways to escape and get distracted in your quest to possibly find your true ONE.
To answer my above question: Can there be more than ONE for YOU? NOpe. When you’ve found your ONE, there’ll be no need to get swept away by another because the.search.will.be.over. Just my 2cents.
Carpe Diem & Happy February!