Oh October!

So we’re here … another month has ended and another one just beginning.

Like most things in life it brings with it new lessons, joys and perspectives. Depending on how long we choose to focus on the previous month(s) it/they can provide us with a different spin to guide our future.

Photo by Adrien Olichon on Unsplash

What may seem obvious to some, may be an illusion to others. We sometimes take it for granted that when we speak, the intended party gets us (totally).

But alas!

The ones who are meant to receive the message, obtain from it what they can at that particular juncture on their journey.

Over the years I tried to almost force the point (if you catch my drift), so others would receive what I wanted to convey in the way I intended.

It intensified over time, so much so that I would literally find it frustrating that others can’t (or won’t) see the glass from where I sit. 

Recently a random stranger said the wisest thing to me which was essentially to stop expecting others to change. He said unless you have supernatural powers, the people in the world have been existing in their ways since time immemorial and things aren’t gonna change drastically any time soon.

As a young girl I somehow thought I could have changed the world. As I grew older and wiser, I tried within my own sphere. I again attempted to do it with my writing and speaking and some of the careers I choose or rather that choose me.

It seemed to only go so far. Change I’ve realized matters little to those who don’t see it’s value, or hang with a crowd that are wary of real and sustained change.

Change can be scary.

It can seem ominous.

It can seem surreptitious.

It can even seem duplicitous as the ‘forces’ fight again positive change.

I remember working from an employer’s house (many years ago) and the housekeeper said to me the adage I now seem to repeat whenever I encounter someone as obstinate and stuck in their ways as a bull that sees red.

“A leopard can’t change its spots.”

Indeed. We are now entering into a very serious era. The end of another year. The countdown to a new one.

The past few years have been a whirlwind of changes – personally and globally. Some good, others not so much.

I lost so many beautiful souls who were dear to me around this time of year. My dad, a client and a co-worker. Each have touched me in different ways that are indescribable.

Photo by Abdul Azis Nurrahman Febrianto on Unsplash

Never having to look death in the eye until then, it was a tragic loss I can’t seem to place into words.

I almost came face-to-face with my own death a few times in my life from the age of 9, then more recently over the years.

I seemed to ‘magically’ escape it each time.

Life is never what it seems. Almost every experience and person I have met taught me so much about life … and death.

Who matters and who matters not.

How much you really matter in the grand scheme of things and their life, regardless of what you did or they did.

Or how you made each other feel in those moments in time.

It taught me why I am the way I am, and why change is such an illusive thing to many people.

Of all my years, the quantum and intensity of joys and despairs seem to be getting more and more intense. This allows me to journey deeper within my mind, heart and soul to understand the meaning of life with each new year that finds me.

I learn to navigate the storms without the ones who I thought would be around to hold my hand and heart for what I thought would be forever.

To continue to live your life with joy is a mystery I thought I would never master, until 2018. Few capture it in quite the same way, especially in the face of adversity. 

For some, joy means a silent inner peace and contentment. For others, it’s a ball of fire which in itself is in a constant state of flux as the world and people around us change.

The ability to process experiences and discern situations and people, gives us the justifiable right to own our reactions to adversity and injustice and stand by them without shame or regret, until we find our catharsis and healing.

It is easy to say we don’t have to prove our prowess or love to another. But as the world continues to change and we realize we have less control over the loyalty and character of people we thought we knew, we are left with changing ourselves with the self-knowledge of what we know to be true and what we consciously choose to allow to unfold in our lives. Carolyn Correia

Here’s to an October to experience in all its intensities and shades as if there’s no tomorrow. Regrets are for the faint hearted. Procrastination are for those that lack a sense of self. Carpe Diem!

My Endless Love,

Carolyn xx

Photo by Viktor Juric on Unsplash

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