Holay! So 2 blogs in 5 days. Aye! I’m getting pretty committed and dedicated to my blogging habit once more 😉 It comes n goes like most things we experience in life.
Come to think of it, before I get to the juice of
le the book which is about love (or something it like) ironically! I’ll share some ‘silent epiphanies’ I stumbled upon through this dance of life.
In life I think stuff happens to us sometimes, so we can slow down and go deeper within ourselves. When we do this, we’re able to assess our thoughts which ultimately may have led us to behaviours (or succumb to impulses) causing us to attract (or entertain) certain events and people.
If we learn to become ‘still’ enough to identify and accept this about ourselves and our life, then we can adapt, attracting healthier situations and people to our lives over time.
Here’s a funny segue (not ha-ha funny though). When I post to my public profiles over the years, I’ve noticed that many times it somehow leads others to believe that I’ve been having barrels of fun all. the. time.
And by extension that ‘I’ am barrels of fun, light, life + fairy dust all.of.the.time! (Umm…)
This is the plot twist (kinda). Starting in 2014, for the first time in a long time I am loving what I do for a living (most days!). But it is far (farr) from a bed of roses. Any (honest) artist/creative or self-employed person will tell you the same. It’s really a winding road.
But in between the bends + twists + turns + learning curves, it can really be a lot of fun and an uber rewarding journey. Especially the flexibility in terms of your time, hours and the fact that you are doing exactly what you love, how and when and having to answer to no one (cept maybe your clients/customers, landlord and such).
The list can be exhaustive and relative depending on the field you’re in, your personality, your demands, types of clients, your financial commitments etc
Most of all, doing what you loVe affords you the indescribable privilege of seeing people (genuinely) enjoy and benefit from your work evident by their joy, fulfillment and motivation to elicit real change – sometimes without even being fully aware.
If you ‘work it‘ right – With the right tools, the right mindset + the right environment (for the mental balance required to operate at your optimum levels), you will attract the ‘right’ customers + linkages to complement what you do.
Either spiritually, technically (expertise-wise) that enable the financial part to fall into place.
Some days/months may be a windfall and other times, you may have to live like a gypsy, making-do with what you have put-away during the windfall periods. Again, it all depends on your priorities, needs and obligations.
If your goal is to be an overnight millionaire (and perhaps a pauper tomorrow – if your mind+heart [and soul] is not fully in your projects) and what you really wanna do is to sail across the world every month eating cake and caviar by the ocean, then forget it. I suggest you find alternative ways to attract that kind of ‘luck’ and magic.
The ABC’s of social media + (good PR) public relations. Before I get to the meat of the matter, here’s another not-so-secret-secret to keeping it on a certain level (if ya catch my drift).
When coming to public profiles, I try to keep my private emotions, experiences + foibles away from the interpretation, psyches + eyes (and possibly ears) of the wider public.
Not that I’m being weird or fake or disconnected from my customers (and potentials) I ‘serve’, but I just try my best to present content relating to what I offer – which is motivation to live your passion + purpose and finding that balance to achieve same.
This may even include how I find work-life-balance (fun), how I celebrate milestones, emotional, physical, nutritional and spiritual wellness to maintain the energy and motivation needed to continue.
Even harmony + discernment in interpersonal relationships to attract + maintain more goodness to my life and reduce the ill-effects of the past.
That’s also why I wrote the book of poems.
If something is stressing me and I have ‘itchy’ fingers and feel the need to vent in the public domain, I’ll try to post the ‘lesson’ in a humorous or tactful/clever way.
While it may very well be the truth and offend ‘guilty’ parties, I am not crass about it on social media or at a public event so as to turn away my ideal customers.
The ones who are true, mature, honest, discerning and loyal, will stick to me like crazy glue (if you wanna conjure up that visual) without judgement or ridicule and try to lend assistance or wait for the storm to subside – even without knowing the details.
This is real humanity, empathy and compassion that can only come with security, wholeness + maturity. The truth is we have all gone through, or inevitably will experience some form of adversity, disappointment, betrayal and injustice in life.
What is happening to someone else today, can happen to you (or your kin) tomorrow if we don’t willfully ‘guard’ our thoughts, space, energy + aura to at least guide our path.
To your close circles, those you ‘trust’ or with whom you share an affinity (which is fluid and ever changing as life happens and reveal certain truths to you) it shouldn’t matter if you let it all hang out.
Otherwise, it simply doesn’t make sense closely associating with folks who don’t have the capacity to understand your journey. Whether it be family, friends, spouse, customers, what-have-you.
If you willfully (or inadvertently) allow someone ‘inside’ to experience the true essence of who you are and they still don’t really ‘get you’ and respect your inner struggles beyond the surface, then that ‘relationship’ adds no real quality to your life.
The choice is yours to ponder.
Coming back to my 3rd book (<–). A collection of heartbreak poems (yeah you heard right). A good few of us (esp men) were raised to suppress their true feelings.
Even for women, when you show your emotions, especially in a sappy-weepy way, people tend to either judge or switch stations – as if automatically programmed.
We were told + taught, directly + indirectly to:
“Man/woman up! You gotta be macho/a superwoman gosh darn it! (and sensitive at the same time) because YOU can handle (and manage) IT! (You were born this way).
This is LIFE. Deal with your sh&T and quick! Cos no one wants to hear too much about your problems. Nobody wants to be around someone who brings them down either. Most of all, they do.not. want a dependent wimpy man-child/’bag lady’ carrying around luggage!”
But WHY? Because emotions + tears make you seem weak. (And too much anger and venting makes you appear crazy!)
Sad, sappy, slow songs and even sensitive, emotive poetry are regarded as depressing, (dark), humiliating, shameful and even ‘slit-your-wrist-suicide-country-or-honky-tonk-music‘.
Not everyone can digest, or handle that overt display of emotions – especially in large doses.
Angry rap and rock songs conjure up visuals + feelings of (biting, bitter, angst-ful, even lazy) aggression and hate.
And who wants to consume any of that right? Far less pay for it. An artist(e)’s struggle is real. People most times like to feel pretty and witty and bright and happy (like pappi).
And I can see WHY (as I step outside beyond the veneer of even my own work).
Some of our work at times are written during periods of ‘darkness’: sadness/grief/depression, injustice, oppression, suffering or heartbreak as a means of healing or venting to purge ourselves of those memories and clear our path.
To write + produce content of that nature so others can relate, we really have to go deep into the depths of that emotion – reliving each nuance, which is not an easy thing to do.
If you allow yourself to get swept back-in-time to that period in your life and swept away by the rhythm + lyrics, you may feel the same as the writer.
If you’re not strong enough, who knows what can happen when you get lost in those emotions that are very real to all of us. That’s why stillness and solitude is so vital for healing. If you practice this daily, you can become unshakable.
Some folks don’t want to be reminded of their pain. We just wanna wimper in our pillow when no one is looking and transform into beautiful butterflies the next day.
Everybody’s different. Some of us grieve in stages. Some are able to accept and ‘transform’. Others carry their solemness, pain or anger inside for a long time, which may eventually seethe onto the outside once triggered by external forces or trauma.
Grief comes in all forms and I’m no doc, but I’m pretty sure it can manifest itself in different ways. Whether romantic grief, grief for a pet, a Big move, or a death.
What you may think is normal for you (or your loved ones), may be a huge red flag for someone else who is not accustomed to certain behaviours, attitudes or reactions.
If you think your (romantic) grief is (still) affecting you, my short collection of (real/practical) fun(ny) poems may be just the thing for you. It’s available on Amazon for just US$2.99. You can read it via the free Kindle computer app if you don’t own a physical Kindle.
The reality is, that we’re all at different stages of our journey. How well we are able to rationalize and accept our past, determine who we attract, when and how well we connect on a way deeper level to bring sustainability, harmony and lasting joy.
Our exposure, spirituality, career, education (not necessarily formal) all shape our personality, behaviours, attitudes, reactions, discernment/boundaries/limits/self-love, willpower, staying power, openness, logic and communication skills.
If you wanna be able to spot red flags so you won’t have to feel the pain of the same mistakes I did. Even if you did already and want to find empathy, healing and acceptance to open your mind + heart + soul to attract + allow true love in, She Missed the Boat on Love is the GIFT you can gift yourself or someone you know and love today.
My 1st title Thinking out Loud available in select local bookstores and on Amazon in paperback, kindle + audio also has some cool articles on love, family, career, the holidays. They may be exactly what you’re looking for to illuminate your path to freedom, self-actualization, healing, catharsis + your own silent epiphanies + love.
When it comes to matters of the heart, my experience somehow proves that most times venting to others (too much) seems to corrupt a good thing before it can get wings to fly.
You tend to overthink and adopt someone else’s limited view of your own situation based on where they sit and make decisions based on that, which may not be always right for you.
The truth is, no one can ever know the intimate and intricate details of each interaction, chemistry or anything that transpires between any two people.
This can never even be explained into words. Well, unless the other person is a clairvoyant or mind reader to receive the translation of energy, thoughts + emotions.
Long story short: Details are nobody’s business; but yours, your creator, your gut, your instincts and your heart.
My Endless Love to You always & forever,