Hullo and warm Sunday greetings,
We’ve now entered into a new month of … wait for it: March!
This can either mean more (perceived) problems, or blessings. The choice is ours.
By ours, I include myself in that sector of people who may take a while to put distance between ourselves and the source of blockage.
Be it a job, relationship, place, our past etc.
As I continue to ride the waves of life and navigate the many twists and turns along this journey, many things are revealed to me.
Why do we settle for mediocre?
Some lessons are longer in coming (if you know what I mean). At the risk of sounding cliche, we may continue to ignore red flags because:
We don’t realize [the extent of] our worth, our power, or we are brainwashed to believe and accept that we have no choice.
Of course, history (not only the greats) tell us differently.
By our worth, I mean both inner and outer.
Our physical beauty, our character and personality, our innate gifts/talents, our blessings and abilities that we may take for granted (until we realize not everyone is as blessed). However ‘beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder’).
Most of all, our values and morals which guide how we deal with the challenges life may bring and how far and how quickly we attain our goals.
Only the truly secure (based on where they are on their journey), can fully accept our entire package and understand/appreciate the concept of character.
What history tells us
The only explanation I can attribute to this, prolly dates back historically depending on where we were born and perhaps our ethnic composition.
While I am not an expert on philosophy; life or the workings of the mind, the few gender and psychology courses I took at university, planted some ‘seeds’ which are manifesting into knowledge and hopefully coping mechanisms for life, all these years later.
At times, I myself get caught in the vortex and viscous cycle precipitated by society, the media and other social entrappings/socializations I would have inadvertently absorbed at different points in time (until they became habits).
That’s why creatives sometimes live a life far removed from others, because some of us experience thoughts, emotions and energy so intensely.
In short, we are so intuitive that we see beyond the surface (and sometimes call out a situation) when others cannot see that far, or take longer to get there. (I understand this is now being called an empath.)
History and that feeling of ‘Otherness’
History would have engendered some feeling of ‘otherness’ which I am of the view,
guides our behaviour, habits and traits.
This is especially true for the Caribbean and other nations with a long history of colonialism.
We have become brainwashed to either swing two ways of the coin (figuratively speaking of course).
One approach is to embrace the identity of our ancestors, having been robbed and raped of our heritage and/or culture in some cases.
In this way, we sometimes reject our Caribbean-ness which is a potpourri of the intrinsic beauty of all races, cultures and ethnicities.
The other side of the coin is to almost inflict emotional/psychological self-hatred as ‘we’ try to either (ostentatiously) associate with, or embrace the identity of what is perceived by the media and many people (subconsciously or not) as beauty, success, prestige, ‘coolness’, politically correctness etc.
Just a little segue. Case in point, I am sure when you read articles/blogs (like this one), you may form stereotypes, opinions or judgments based on the photos/words chosen, or probably what the author looks like, without knowing all the facts. (Also, not realizing that stock photos readily available for use are generally not ethnically diverse.)
The ‘sad’ reality
I have reason to believe that many times; due to our collective fears and in essence our sense of inferiority or past hurt, we sometimes inadvertently end up pushing away something that could have blossomed into a wonderful experience.
Or worse, atrocities may be committed when judgments are made based on our lack of understanding of who that other person is; how they behave, act, speak etc based on how they were socialized, or even their own past experiences.
Who Am ‘I’?
Generally I was raised to believe that I am Caribbean. So when I look into the mirror especially today, I do not see race, only beauty. However, since we live in a worldy-world, our thinking and behavior are often triggered by the world around us.
I strongly believe that embedded within our DNA, we are inherently programmed to connect with, or reject certain thoughts and behaviors, since certain actions etc come naturally and others forced, no matter how hard we try.
New age philosophies chalk this up to ‘energy’. I am yet to explore this particular school of thought.
I believe it also had to do with how comfortable you are with yourself in your own skin, and/or how well you have come to terms with your past/history.
Coming from a multi-ethnic heritage, I am often mistaken for all things other than my heritage, which in the past and to a lesser extent today, still fazes me depending on how it is done. Then I realize people are a product of their environment and antiquated conditioning and exposure.
However, there is no excuse to continue to live and operate in fear, insecurity and judgement due to lack of knowledge.
Wisdom is Power and there’s no secret formula to acquiring it.
With the advent of technology and travel, we are given the opportunity to now explore the world, remove our hang-ups (and lesson our baggage), as we broaden our minds beyond our rigid and narrow [text-book] thinking.
In order for this to feel effortless, in some cases it may require lots of practice to unlearn years of learnt behaviours and habits that no longer serve us.
The good book says, ‘Ask and you shall receive. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and a door shall be opened unto you’. [Matthew]
Here’s how you can begin…
The world needs more love
To truly ‘find our equal place’, not only in post-colonial territories, but the wider world (since it continues to affect us all), the world needs more love and there’s enough of everything to go around without trying to hurt others to obtain it.
You get what you give. If you don’t understand, ask a question! (in an unobtrusive and non-malicious way of course, for the intention of knowledge).
If you truly value something/one (be it a career/business, person, place), be patient, be kind, be honest and think/act independently to achieve your desired result.
The only way to do that is to be comfortable with who you are and unafraid to lose it all. With pure intentions, you just may ‘win’ everything and if you ‘lose’, it would matter little in the grand scheme of things.
The key is the manner of travelling and knowing when the situation cannot be salvaged and it’s time to move on.
Until next time,
My Endless Love,
For more, feel free to follow me via my social media handles, shop for my books in brick&mortar bookstores and on Amazon via my website: www.carolyncorreia.com
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