Why we are sometimes our own worst enemy

The following article was published on The Huffington Post on 10/01/2017

As another year winds down and we get ready to celebrate the holiday season and usher in a brand new year in a rapidly changing world, we may find ourselves re-evaluating our life’s goals.

The recent years may have brought a mix of emotions and experiences to our lives and at times we may find ourselves in a revolving door of situations.


However, introspection forces us to ask ourselves if our ‘inner noise’ is getting in the way of our ‘perfect ten’. With the wisdom of our past, we get to decide what lessons we learn and choose our outcome.




By a perfect ten I will use the analogy of that satiated feeling we get after a good home-cooked meal or a full day of adventure with our loved ones. But one may ask the question:

Is it possible to have those ‘Happy Days’ that stretch as far as the mind can imagine every. single. day. of. our. lives? Or is this just limited to a make-believe world on television?

Many times we share universal life experiences with each other that traverse spatial and temporal boundaries. At times throughout our journey, we may be able to evaluate and connect the pieces of life’s jigsaw puzzle.

Sometimes the pieces may fit perfectly and other times something may cause a piece of the puzzle to fall out of place.

Again due to our past experiences, which may even be rooted in childhood or adolescence, we may subconsciously sabotage what may have been some of the best experiences and opportunities of our lives, because we didn’t deal with our baggage.


We think that history will repeat itself, so we feel the need to put up a wall and protect ourselves from disappointment and hurt. But little do we know, not every person or situation is the same as yesterday.


At times we create our own problems, since our actions are triggered by thoughts or old pains that we may not have completely released and healed. Many times we are unaware of its existence and we may exhibit reflex behaviors as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from more hurt.


My own self-discovery revealed the reason for this was due to the fact that I did not pause long enough to face my past ‘demons’ and confront what was preventing me from reaching my zenith in all spheres of life.


We may think that life is great at the moment because it feels comfortable and safe and this is all we know. Change and risk may be terrifying concepts that pose a threat to our equilibrium.


But this ‘happy’ feeling is only relative to the experiences we can have when we are able to muster the courage and fortitude to truly release ourselves from our mental and emotional captivity and step outside of our comfort zones to embrace another dimension to life.


When we do this, our former definition of happiness and success will now pale in comparison to a life of liberation and euphoria that allow us to maximize our joy for living.




We will now be able to see the glass half full instead of half empty and overcome our fears, insecurities, hurt, regrets and limitations to find our catharsis. In so doing, we would be able to accomplish the great things for which we were always destined. In the process, we inspire others along our journey.


We all have choices in life.


We are confronted with people and situations every day of our lives and the choice is ours to remain open to the signs along the way.


Sometimes we may choose to ignore those signs or ‘messengers’ in disguise, or end up missing them altogether, because of our buried pain and short sightedness, possibly due to (our learnt) archaic thinking, customs and beliefs.


However, when we remain open and make the conscious decision to observe the signs along our journey, we are then able to completely step into our rightful destiny and become all we were meant to be in life.


Carolyn K. Correia is the author of Thinking out LoudHow To Find Yourself and Claim What’s Yours and She missed the boat on love. She is also a communications consultant, freelance writer, blogger and speaker. Learn more here www.carolyncorreia.com or connect on Facebook – CarolynCorreiaAuthor.


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