Greetings and Happy Weekend …Hope all is well where you are!
I’ve really fallen behind with my blogging this year…but it’s been one of those years. However those challenges have turned out to be real blessings in disguise. I can’t even begin to tell ya! (Maybe if I have another event this year I’ll share 😉
I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I got a wake-up call and I am upping the ante in my micro-business. I can’t wait till I have some concrete plans so I can start sharing the good news. Slow and steady does it…
Of course, nothing worth having comes without challenges, but I won’t let it ruin my fun (if you read to the end and wait for the plot twist, you will get the deets). The journey getting there is part of the excitement and growth.
What happened when I unplugged
Phew! So in other news, I took a few days off last week into this week to recharge my ‘being’ upon the invitation of a very special friend and it was really an experience. I mean, I was still sorta stressing over some stuff, but I really felt renewed and pumped when I returned home. A little tired, but super productive once more.
Imagine waking up to this view with the sound of the ocean and a big bowl of cow heel soup, fish pelau, homemade bread with almonds, vodka fruit smoothies, wine and grilled king fish, beans with eggplant Parmesan! Awweee. How can it get better than this!?
That spells Abundance! Share your positive vibes, passion and energy without covering up your flaws and people see your soul and the goodness comes back to you in different ways. I still can’t believe how things have been unfolding these past few years, despite the rough patches. In everything gives thanks and this opens the door for more blessings.
I did a video while there, but somehow can’t upload it to my blog 😦 But I have a mini-photo slideshow fun surprise below 🙂
But seriously, I think that food especially healed my soul! #SoulFood
Even when I returned home and turned on my desktop to do all that work I planned and discovered that my pc had crashed [again!], I did not stress. too. much!
What happened when Murphy’s Law tried to upset my plans
Of course, Murphy’s Law reared its ‘ugly’ head and there were some mishaps while I was un-plugging. In fact, I had to leave abruptly and head down the ‘mountain’ to the ER (just to be clear that’s not a fancy new jargon for something pretty. It spells the Emergency Room!).
I did not even call my family or friends in the area to disrupt their Sunday or alarm them. After waiting what seemed like an eternity, two doctors examined me and referred me to a lab to do a neck x-ray/ultrasound for a mass on my neck and… to see a specialist. And… to take some over the counter stuff.
A funny story
You wanna hear something funny though? As I was driving down the mountain I started humming ‘she’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes’ (joking). But seriously, I was praying and trying to think positive thoughts and I suddenly found myself laughing at what a friend told me right before I left,
“Carolyn, don’t take this the wrong way, but your neck is naturally fat. Nothing is wrong, you’ll be fine. It’s prolly just an allergic reaction to the fish or...” and he began to list the possibilities…
But that fat neck bit though … 😀
Okay that was Me laughing. He was being dead serious…in a non-mean way.
How I learnt to own my flaws and not take offence to the truth
I can laugh at myself now after many years of soul searching. After all, for me to write a book called, ‘How To Find Yourself & Claim What’s Yours’ I had to really dig deep. In years gone by, I would have probably reacted differently (non-violently of course lol)
Today you can call me young/old/fat/skinny/unpleasant/dumb/untalented/’green’ whatever…it just rolls off me like water off a duck’s back. I still do my thing anyway.
But how did I get to this point?
Here’s the thing, once you realize that you have other qualities and characteristics that make you beautiful and you learn to embrace yourself with love, it’s gonna save you a whole lot of time and energy spent on people pleasing and money spent on artificial things that don’t matter.
Why? Because by owning your flaws, your confidence and true beauty will shine forth and attract the ‘right’ people you need to/in your life at the right times. They’ll help you work on the things you can change and let go of the rest.
Anyway, back to the story. So there I was on the phone, trying not to inflate my already ‘fat neck’ further, my response was,
“Hullo. Like seriously?! I appreciate the positive thinking, but if you can see it now, you won’t be saying that…it hurts on one side when I swallow food!!!! It’s better to be safe than sorry.” I said I had to go and quickly hung up the phone [to drive myself down the mountain].
But in retrospect… if I had only listened and did what he said to do, I wouldn’t have to wait hours at the Emergency Room to hear the doctors say virtually the same EXACT things to the LETTER!
But eventually I did listen after two days of semi-depression and trying to ‘sleep off’ this small mass on my neck; emailing my regular doctor and wondering if to go do the x-ray, I took some painkillers ONCE and said some prayers and POOF!
Can you believe it was like the little bugger [aka the mass] was never there! Hmmph
Anyway, to make a long story longer…here’s my Food for Thought for today:
I’ve been known to make mountains out of mold hills over the years, when in fact we have the power to create the change we want.
Yes, we may have challenges – health, financial, relationship, career, but I’ve re-learnt the potency of the mind. Everything is mental and it’s up to us to harness that inner strength and fight like your life depended on it, if you really want to improve aspects of your life.
Yes, our past or even our present, may be pretty
shitty messed up in some ways, but it does not define us, or inhibit us from becoming the person we were destined to become. Our mentality, unwillingness to obey the signs and let go and learn from the past so we can really effect change does.
Many of the people in this world who are living their dream and creating waves, overcame great failures, challenges, ridicule/judgments, rejections/disappointments and sometimes hit rock bottom before they ‘rose from the ashes’.
Yes, you may have doubts and challenges that may seem insurmountable; but the solutions will emerge when you give freely from the heart, believe in what you want to receive, relinquishing your attachments to the outcome. Soon you will find that the stars begin to align in your favor to bring you all of your heart’s desires and more. – Carolyn K. Correia (c) 2017
Sooner or later all your kindness and good intentions will be returned to you and manifest itself in different ways. You will no longer be misunderstood or judged for isolated incidents, but rather be accepted and loved unconditionally for your character by the ones who are true.
These are the Universal Laws of Life. I did not do extensive research, read about or listen to other motivational authors and speakers to figure this out.
Truth be told: After reading 25+ [literary] books at the undergraduate level and then tons of research at the post grad level, my brain was pretty much fried and ‘spent’. I have read very little since then! But I do read! And I can finish a really compelling book in a few days, but I am just selective [with my time].
What I write about is what life/my parents have taught me and what my Creator has inspired within me. Whether or not, I apply it to my own life at every waking moment, is not for man to judge, but it is and will be manifested in visible ways.
We are all a work-in-progress [and sin in different ways]. I said these things back in 2011 in my collection of articles published in my first book Thinking out Loud.
My last and somewhat controversial point in this blog is this.
My friends have been telling me for years, “You are a bit sensitive and ‘paro’ – Caro. Everything is not always about you! Take it down and relax!” 🙂
But I guess I have to ‘un-socialize’ myself from my socialization and some of my learnt behaviors. Easier said than done. But then I turn on the radio on some of my favorite stations and I watch some videos that go viral and even listen to some people I’ve met…and I hear the same direct and indirect comments almost like a mantra,
“Be true to yourself…practice what you preach and you’ll find happiness…lalalaala”
Not in those words. But ummm yeah
While I know it’s not geared towards me personally [and I do reckon I’m a pretty jolly person – kinda like Santa without the quantum of belly fat]; is it just me, or do rehearsed tones and plastic smiles remind you of the eternal optimist and make you want to grab ‘a bango on your knee’ and break out in kumbaya ’round a campfire?! At. best.
I’d rather spend my time doing this…and keeping it real with real people that say exactly what’s on their mind without judgment in the spirit of love.
While we do not want to become that bitter person and react in-kind all the time to the crap we are dished out, honesty and keeping it real is like a breath of fresh air in a dark attic. If it means calling out people on their nonsense in a tactful manner – especially the ones with whom you are familiar or have a professional relationship, so be it.
It augers well for integrity and respect and beats the energy spent in walking around on eggshells, trying to be a people-pleaser and pretending to be immune to the ills and atrocities of this world. Burying your true feelings and feigning support/favor for different purposes are just unhealthy and in actuality – it is being UNTRUE to yourself!
We are all human and let’s face it, everybody can’t be like Mother Teresa. In life some folks are gonna rub you the wrong way. Sometimes their actions and energy just won’t mesh with yours and it’s nobody’s fault. That is life.
You may accept different things from different people, for different reasons based on the dynamics and history of the ‘relationship’. But it’s okay to keep your distance at times (or even sever ties) from/with people who may not have good intentions/have ulterior motives or no longer ‘serve’ you, while being direct. For example, if you value and/or respect someone personally or professionally, you can say:
“Right now my priorities are XYZ (e.g. growing my business/spending time with my family, improving my health/well-being etc) and I prefer to ABC at the moment (e.g. to invest my time/funds/energy there).”
“You know when you did/said LMNOP, I did not like it and for that reason, my stance is 123…right now.”
Full stop. If the parties adjust their behavior or at least meet you half way, cool. You can choose how you proceed, or decide if it’s too late for salvation. Instead of having the person(s) hanging on wandering in the wilderness, wondering what went wrong.
Other times, it’s best/wise to choose your battles and use your energy more productively as my friend Roxanne always says.
You can still wish them well and pray for them from afar. Sometimes persons may hear what they want to hear because they are not in a position to process your perspective based on where they are at in their journey, but the ball is in their court to try to empathize. With time, comes experience, wisdom, maturity and evolution/growth.
Is this a cultural thing?!
I’m beginning to realize also that perhaps this phenomena of avoiding the issues is a cultural thing, since I’ve spoken to a few people who have either lived abroad for many years or are not native to this country.
Many of them say that they have never experienced this sort of evasive behavior extensively in other cultures.
Since becoming an entrepreneur especially, I have found that in business relations, the non-direct approach is rampant and this does not sit well. at. all. for us a nation.
A verbal agreement to some, mean very little and when these folks tell you to stand up, it’s best to save yourself and run for your life.
Also sometimes the lengths some go to in order to maintain perceived positions of dominance/fame at times to the detriment of others, is unbelievable and something for the movies.
But again, pick your battles wisely and walk away. God is love. He is an omnipotent and just being that sees and hears all and rewards everyone in accordance with their heart and deeds. Fear not for “The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong…”
In some quarters, some may say to quit complaining and do your part where you can, but I say:
Self-preservation is vital to your self-respect and sanity.
As the old saying goes, ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!‘ And I know my momma ain’t raise no fool
But it’s refreshing to learn that there are others who share this view.
And here I thought it was just me…
What are your thoughts? Do you think the non-direct/evasive approach is a cultural thing? And do you think it’s time we collectively speak up and adopt the direct approach?[Of course, using diplomacy without causing a brawl.] #ThinkingOutLoud
Until next time…that’s all she wrote.
My Endless Love,
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