9 reasons why you need your own space

It is amazing the effects of having your own space can do for your mind and your life. I know this is not new for most people, but in some cultures, the socio-economic conditions for home ownership etc are crazy challenging. Thus, many “kids” wait till they get married to live on their own and some still live with in-laws when they tie the knot.

Sometimes when we always have people around us, we lose our serenity and sense of self. All the “noise” and constant activity drowns out our thoughts and real feelings and we find ourselves not being able to slow down and take a step back to assess things.

When we find time to be truly alone however, we find that solutions emerge and the true us appears. We also tap into our gifts and awaken our spiritual selves. You can read about that experience in my second book – How To Find Yourself & Claim What’s Yours.

Whether it’s your own special part of the house or a sofa in your office, your car or a special place you go to – like a coffee shop, the seaside or a beach house; it’s important to have your own space where you can unwind, be alone and totally yourself. You can recreate an old space or find one anew.

I’ve “moved out” twice in my life. And though this 3rd time is different since my family is within close proximity, it’s a cosy little place that I’ve made my own, where I can be free and private. I officially moved last October and my life has never been the same. 

I’ll tell you why…


  1. Hours go by and I get lost in my work…time seems to stand still. Sometimes I don’t leave the house for days on end.

There’s no separation between day and night. I can have a Skype meeting with a client in another country or my assistant across town at 8 pm or midnight. I can write and write some more.

2. Friends drop by at random times…(and leave at random hours!). Almost every week I have 1-3 visitors. It’s awesome. We have loads of wine, cocktails, pizza, Chinese food, or I cook, we listen to music, sing and dance.  We have meetings, they critique my work, we exchange experiences and challenges and we give each other advice.

We are honest, frank and say whatever, whenever without judgement or fear. We are not Willy Wonka; we don’t sugar coat stuff round here or pretend to be perfect or proper to keep up appearances. We keep it real.

It’s an unconditional love and refreshing realness.

We talk about the good ole days (which could have been just last week or 10 years ago!) It’s crazy beautiful, fun and exciting.IMG_20161214_202413

3. I can lay down on my sofa bed with the top of the Dutch door open and look up at the mountains and clouds in the sky, reflect and meditate on life and pretend I’m on the beach in Tobago.

4. I can turn off my phones and sleep till noon (or later) on weekends and holidays without a disturbance. I have the most restful nights…it’s like a midsummer’s night dream come to life.

5. I don’t watch TV often, but I can watch movies and my favourite shows for hours and fall asleep to the sound of 80s music.

6. I can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner on the mini back porch and look at my roses  in full bloom and listen to the birds chirp.

7. I can work till 3 in the morning while keeping the company of my favourite music and online late night talk show in the States. The best part is drinking multiple cups of coffee with a dash of cinnamon and pretend it’s Rituals or Starbucks.IMG_20161214_205250.jpg

Sometimes my mother wakes in the middle of the night and I invite her over for tea at 2 am and we catch up on my adventures and breakthroughs.

8. Some days I don’t have to talk to anyone and I can just stay in my “space” and heal or have a good cry till I feel better. Best part: I don’t have to hide, cos it’s all mine.

9. I can slip in and out through my private entrance without disturbing anyone.

Hope this helps you in some way to carve your own space and have that much needed “You” time.

Until next time,

Peace & Love,
Carolyn xo

One comment

  1. I received this comment via email and I just had to share! Mary said this:

    So true being confident in your skin is a big part of life You don’t have to prove anything or try to influence or persuade anyone to like or accept You.

    The main attributes of self respect, a positive attitude, personality and respect for other opinions always help along the way.

    es we have low days but our good memories and looking for the positive options, are helpful in regaining that bounce in our step again


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