What do you do when they say no?

With the advent of technology, it’s now easier to communicate with people – both personally and professionally. Even if it’s not face-to-face or voice-to-voice. It’s also easier not to talk to people – if you catch my drift. I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of that spectrum and it’s not fun – either way.

photo credit – http://www.unsplash.com

Over the past few years as my personality and character morphed from “hardly talking” into “can’t stop talking” I’ve been realizing more and more I was being led on this path all along.

My friend (I’d call her R) told me something tonight that made me think. I often call her a cynic…But she likes to refer to herself as a realist. She made me take a step back and reconsider whether my messages are really resonating with the right audience.

I had just gotten off the phone with a few people and some actually told me how much they love what I do and how I do it. But in business, sometimes you have to develop a thick skin to deal with the rejections – both very direct and subtle because some people would just not get what you do, or they may choose to spend their precious dollars in a different way. It’s the same for all relationships both platonic and romantic.

The cues can be easily missed, especially if you are one who likes to get your way and therefore evade the truth – which may be glaring. Imagine someone telling you, The Cold Harsh Truth in the most rawest of forms without even batting an eye!

As they say in cricket, it can knock you for 6 and leave you devastated. But your recovery can be quick, or you can choose to let it linger and fester and become your Achilles heel.

I’ll give you a few examples:

Scenario 1: Someone does not want to buy your product or service, despite initial interest. 

Your response: You can either recoil and pack up shop, or you can reinvent yourself and your offerings taking the criticism in stride knowing that they were not your ideal customer anyway (Like my friend R who has already found her passion and purpose and loves her day job no matter how stressful it is).

People may also have lots of variables happening in their life – financial, medical, emotional, the list goes on, so it’s not always about you.

Or they may just be on a different path with different priorities.

The sooner we accept that, the quicker we can move on and find our ideal customer who loves and needs what we are offering to the world, at that particular point in time in their life.

Scenario 2: Someone who you’ve been trying to do business with gives you the assurance that they will deliver and fulfill your request for information, then your calls all go unanswered! 

photo credit – http://www.unsplash.com

Your response: You can either quarrel and swear under your breath, or crawl under a rock to recover; or you can laugh it off and say, there are plenty mo’ fish in the sea and the Universe will open up a way for me to find the perfect fit (service provider). Someone who actually wants work and can add super value (and a wow factor) and are in tune with what I am offering.

Scenario 3: You think that you are pis whistling in the wind when it comes to your marketing.

Your response: You can sulk, vent, sleep it off and keep doing the same things expecting different results. Or you can get creative and change things up. Do blogs, do videos. Have events. Have a sale, special offer or collaboration.

Quit hiding behind your computer and social media; get out and join clubs/groups and network. Volunteer. Make friends and genuine connections everywhere you go.

Get on the phone, reach out to past customers and people on your mailing list. Get feedback and ways to serve your customers’ needs better. Find out what’s working and what’s not. Find out what they really need – how, when, where, why and with whom.

Bonus. Scenario 3: If that guy or gal stopped calling you (or would not stop)

photo credit – http://www.unsplash.com

I’m not a relationship expert, but hey it may sound cliche, but maybe they’re just not that into you. I’ve learnt for myself that when people show/tell you who they are the first time, don’t let your ego get in the way, while you bask in the attention you’re getting.

Maybe they just had nothing else to do at the time and were just killing time.

Maybe they did not want to hurt your feelings and were humoring you.

Maybe playing hero was a rush to their own ego as you gave them back attention.

Maybe, shmaybe. You may never know.

But take it as a blessing in disguise that you finally cracked the code on how they really feel and now you can stop wasting your time and start living your best life with someone who really digs you – unconditionally.

Yay. You made it! Thanks for reading to the end. I love hearing your feedback. Drop me a line if you find yourself nodding while you read this blog.

Someone just told me tonight that they don’t consider my blogs reading, it’s like a conversation they’re having with me. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments over the years I am doing this, but that was pretty much one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard said about my writing! And I would have never known if I didn’t ask!

Talk to you soon…Don’t forget if you would like to hear more of these thoughts live and direct, call or email 798-8596/info@hicomegaconsulting.com to RSVP to my event Book Talk & Jazz happening on Saturday 27th May in Trinidad.

I can’t wait to host you at this evening of fun and entertainment!

Peace & Love,
Carolyn xo

Book Talk & Jazz - Valsayn


  1. Thank you sharing your insight…The word No, can be considered great feedback and a useful tool for us to revisit a situation and approach to things. I believe we have been conditioned to perceive No as a negative thing, when if not for No often times we stay stuck and in a comfort zone that leads no where. I guess it’s all about perspective as per usual.


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