I wrote this blog 3 nights ago, but then let it sit for a few so I can make up my mind whether I wanted to post it. I tested it out on one of my married friends for relatability and now, here I am…
So this is a tad bit different for me. I opened someone else’s blog today and I said to myself in my quietest writer’s whisper,
“What if you write about your deepest most personal feelings?”
I thought…what do I got to lose? You might as well try. As Tina said what’s love got to do with it. Just about everything
and nothing at all. But I think there may be a Part 2 to this blog as I delve deeper into the subject matter.
LOVE… *cue the sappy 80s & 90s ballads* (let’s not forget the dance hit Haddaway made famous)
That four letter word that makes us sigh a collective sigh. Either of dread, fed-up-ness or just lalalaala happy thoughts that makes us feel drunk with love.
For those of us that have been, or right now are happy in love, yay for us.
It can be a thrill.
It can be even more thrilling and fulfilling when the love is returned in the same way with the same intensity, passion and fire and is maintained (because roller coasters were really meant for kids. If you find yourself on one in real life, it’s time to jump off…now).
Yet, many of us (male and female) chase the love that exists in our heads. What we imagine the other person feels.
The sad truth is that because someone is showering us with attention, sticks around and does nice things, doesn’t necessarily mean it is LOVE.
It could just be kindness because of the very nature of the person, or the fact that they were raised to be providers and/or people pleasers.
Or that person can have ulterior motives.
Or, that they enjoy your company and are just killing time till they find their real one true love and soul mate.
There’s a multitude of reasons why.
Sometimes these people never say what’s really on their mind, but you just know deep down in your soul that this is not THE ONE, simply because the reciprocity is off. It may feel like they are the one in the beginning, but the patterns speak for themselves.
The one wouldn’t make you feel this way.
The one wouldn’t require all this futile work.
The one wouldn’t make you hurt.
The one wouldn’t make you question or doubt yourself.
The one wouldn’t make you worry and wonder why and how and where.
The one wouldn’t bear to be away.
The thing is, I believe few people have cracked the code on this thing called love (regardless of relationship status). To make it last is a lot of hard work, just like anything else worth having. It takes creativity, patience, tolerance, forgiveness and strength. It takes a soul connection.
When do you know when it’s real?
I’m far from an expert on love. But…
When you keep searching yourself for the answers and you keep finding your way back despite the distance and trials and challenges.
When the flaws don’t mean a thing.
When there’s unfailing loyalty, commitment, honestly, admiration and adoration.
When you don’t have to worry and wonder why and how and where.
When it doesn’t require this much struggle.
When there’s no fear, only safety and comfort and security.
When there is no pain and you can’t spare any lengthy time away.
LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL.
LOVE is ETERNAL.
LOVE is EMPATHY.
LOVE is SINCERE.
LOVE is HAPPINESS.
LOVE is PEACE.
LOVE is (You fill in the blanks and write a love letter to yourself and one to your soul mate and watch it manifest the love you deserve.)
Come Saturday 27th May, I’ll be sharing poems from my 3rd book – She Missed the Boat on Love and essays from my 1st book Thinking out Loud, complete with dramatic book readings, sharing and much more…
This is a huge & scary leap….as you get behind the softer side of the writer…
To book your seats, email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 798-8596.
This event is taking place in Trinidad, but for more information on the author and to purchase her books you can visit – www.carolyncorreia.com
Peace & Love,