Happy Sunday all!
It’s been a while since I’ve been in your inbox I know, but I’m not gonna make excuses. I’ve just been busy with work and life…and the distractions and entrappings of life! We all know what that’s like
So I thought about contributing an article to the Huff Post’s Valentine’s Day campaign about how I’m fighting hate with love…but I had an afterthought…I’ll tell you why…
A little while ago someone did something absolutely reprehensible to me (and by extension my family) …I even wrote a blog about it, but I later pulled it from the internet.
It wasn’t a bad blog, it was really, really funny actually and I got really nice responses from strangers and friends alike. But I pulled it because I wrote it in the heat of the moment and I did not want people to get the wrong idea and think I needed anger management
But I remember my rage keeping me up at 2 in the morning. Praying and saying my Psalms and asking God to help me dispel this anger. I even called my old parish priest, 2 lawyers, 1 corporal and an officer of the law!! The agony!
Hey, I can’t remember the last time I got this angry. And I could not for the life of me understand the hate and the reasons behind the act of hatred towards me, since I probably exchanged greetings with the alleged perpetrators of the “crime”on a regular basis for years, although I do not know for certain who they may be.
I must say a great BIG thanks to my friends who stayed on the phone with me for hours and really helped keep my anger at bay during that horrendous time. Now, even though I carry on with business as usual, each time I back out of my driveway or go to the front gate, I feel my blood boiling under the surface again.
While I cannot divulge the details of this heinous act, I guess you understand why I would feel like an impostor for attempting to write about ‘fighting hate with love’. Has anyone ever wronged you in such a grievous way that it could be considered a hate crime? If so, how did you feel and what did you do?
While I know many persons probably now look to me as an exemplar for human behaviour, I will say this: Our ‘humanness’ is what makes us ONE. I’ll tell you what I mean.
For a brief moment, I imagined if I wasn’t led to write motivational stuff all those years ago and speak to audiences about empowerment and transforming their lives into purposeful, meaningful experiences of abundance.
I thought of how I would have treated with the matter. I even told my priest what I would have done. To this he did not judge me and a few minutes later told me about a road trip he thought of inviting me on (since I often do those things as a freelance writer).
The thing is this: If I did not let those feelings course through my veins, I would have been suppressing my nature. Our nature as human beings is to find an outlet for our emotions.
I write…I read (I read the Bible as well as The Fighting Man’s Bible by Professor Don Jacob which helped a great deal), I sing (in the privacy of my home and the occasional karaoke 🙂 and I recently started back exercising. Others let out their anger in other ways. You have to find a healthy way for you to deal with your emotions and find your catharsis (healing).
When we can’t distance ourselves from the anger and pain and rationalize logically the reasons for the wrong done to us (by those with a different mindset from us), is when we have difficulty keeping our anger at bay and that’s when we ‘lose our minds’ to our emotions and do and say things we should not. It’s how the vicious cycle perpetuates and how worse crimes are committed in our world today.
If I did not let my anger run its natural course and find counsel from the right sources I would have not understood how anger works so as to help others work through their hurt.
In the end, I did not act out from emotion and give those persons a piece of my mind, nor legally, I just let sleeping dogs lie and continue to take it to God for Him to take justice in His own way and in His own timing as He has always done countless times in the past on my behalf. I have no trace of doubt that He will indeed do so in the best, most sweetest way possible.
I will ask Him to help me to forgive and love my neighour as myself as I know it will take time and only Jesus can help with that task!
I thought about how much self-control I now have as I decided to take up this vocation. My business coach even asked me if I wanted to go back to being an employee and just do this as a hobby. And my answer was not in a million years.
The freedom I now have and the feeling I get when someone has benefited from something I wrote or said to them is unmatched. It is because of this, I owe it to myself to become more and more evolved to a state where people and external situations do not ruffle my feathers.
As I always say in my writings: We are all works in progress. No one is perfect and we are all on a continuous journey of learning, sharing and evolution.
I guess you thought this was gonna be a Love blog huh? I hope I did not disappoint. Maybe I’ll do one of those by Valentine’s!
If you can relate to this blog, please click on the link and comment below. I would love to hear about your experiences with anger and learn how you treat with it to stay ‘sane’.
To learn more about me or shop for my books, you can check out my website below – www.carolyncorreia.com
Until next time…
Peace & Love,