Lost your will? Here’s what I did.

Greetings all. It’s been 12 days since my last blog. Something must be wrong you are probably asking (I hope). If you’re not asking that question, I guess you didn’t miss me much 😦 But I have good news…

I recently moved into a new space and I will be posting videos soon…I know it’s a lot to read, especially if so many things are coming at you at once, but I do hope the messages you are meant to receive are received at the right time.

I was missing in action last week…although I thought of you very often. But the truth is…last week was a sucky week, so I had nothing to say.

Yes. It sucked in every way.

It didn’t help that this month was the 2-year anniversary of my father’s death. But it wasn’t that alone, although I thought of him a whole lot.

I felt drained and demotivated and even sad at times. Heck, last Friday I had a meeting closeby to discuss the feasibility of a Book Talk n Jazz in Tobago, and I didn’t get out of my bed until midday!

Yikes. 

Momma said there would be days like this. Luckily it doesn’t happen too often.

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That was how I felt last week. Like I was underwater. photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com

So what do you do when that happens?

When all of your will is gone?

You get very still and meditate on the reasons why you may be feeling this way. (And of course wine helps).

Seriously the truth is, this feeling lasted for a few days…and my special brew of organic coffee, neither my new stash of wine (which usually works like magic) DID NOT work!

I thought it had to do with some personal things that were going on in my life…but my coach made me realize it was all me.

She said I have the power to control how I feel. Then my friend from Kenya posted the most wonderful review on my Company Facebook Page, which was followed by a few words of praise and encouragement.

I never told him how I was feeling, but soon I was feeling much better.

You know what I realized?

I was actually touching other people’s lives by being ME…by my blogs that I sometimes think nobody reads. And just by speaking to people casually or for work. (Sometimes I wish I remember what I say, so I can say it to myself at times like this! haa)

Then you know what else happened?

That morning at 1 am…I started to look around my new office and the photos from my events this year and suddenly I started to smile (which turned into a grin) and give God thanks and praise for this amazing opportunity and privilege to inspire others by my gifts.

Wow oh wow. I went from 0 – 100 in less than 10 minutes. 

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That’s me ‘entertaining’ the audience at my Book Talk in October! What a rush 🙂

That morning I went to sleep sometime after 1 am, and woke up sometime after 6 am!!! This was after pressing snooze on my alarm for the days prior. The only other thing that causes me to wake up that early is karaoke (or travelling)!

But Carissa (my coach) did say something else. She said to me (twice): “Carolyn: but what if you didn’t have your accomplishments and your talent and the people around you. Would you still be happy?

Hmmm…..that’s a tough one.

Writing is my reason for being. And well, I know I’m fun, but truly, if I had to entertain myself all day long without any props…Would I be able to do it? 😀

I’d deliberate on that over what’s left of this season and return to you with the answers in the new year. You can share as well in the comments.

But you can say that perspective is something else. Gratitude opens the door for abundance and once you believe that, your reward is right around the corner.

It infuses hope in your life and suddenly you realize that your life is not by chance. It has meaning and the power to make a difference in someone else’s life.

My dark clouded lifted. I have to admit it did come back 2 days later…but this week I realized the root of this was a pesky little hormone ladies call PMS!! ha ha

And men don’t have to deal with this… ever!!! Grrrr

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That was me tonight!

But this week…is the total reverse.

I am happy. I am liberated. I am free.

And I can’t wait to celebrate Christmas with my family (although we fight a lot…the love is always there) and make concrete plans for the New Year 2017.

I am excited and amazed and high on this gift called life!

Are you going through a tough time? 

Do you know there are things in your life that can make you smile, if you really think about it carefully?

Jot it down on some paper and you will be amazed. 

Visualize your ideal life.

Stick it up where you can see it.

Repeat it like mantras in your head. Say affirmations.

And…

BELIEVE and wait for it to come into being with your actions, words and thoughts.

Be patient. Be gracious. Be grateful. Be humble.

And never lose sight of the prize that lay ahead.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop me a line. And you can also pick up my motivational books as a Christmas gift to yourself or someone you love.

You can grab it here – In Trinidad and Tobago or on Amazon.

Talk to you soon!

Peace & Love,
Carolyn xo

2 comments

  1. Good day to you Carolyn,
    I’m in that kinda mood right now and is the worst.
    Yet it not so bad.
    I know that is a contradiction but it applies. Like you say, is like I’m underwater; no struggle, no fuss. I can’t even claim to be depressed cause I don’t feel bad about myself or any situation.
    My muscles just don’t want to move at-all and the more prone I am the happier I am. Is just plain laziness? Or my body recuperating from over-thinking and overwork? Hmmmm? Ting tuh make yuh go “Hmmmm”.
    See I am a Writer (wanting to publish my first next year Please God) and an Editor (Chief Editor of now-starting company – Eutille Duncan Publishing) and a Farmer and a Security Guard and an Event manager and a Landscaper and a Joiner/Carpenter and an Inventor (pushing a product with CARIRI) and I live in Tobago (land of “Wot Yuh Hustlin’ For?”)
    The last beggars the question in triplicate – “Wot yuh rehl-ly doin’ all dem ting for?” (Just reading over that list making me tired)
    The best answer I can come up with is that most times I can – do them that is. Then times like this come along and I just don’t want to do anything anymore.
    Yes, I have had times like this, many plenty. Five years ago I found out it was because my Thyroid Gland is a bit hyper. But that’s another story.
    The only one thing that disturbs the happiness of what I call my ‘Withdrawal from Society’ is the guilt of not fulfilling promises, not going to work, not maintaining my commitments and plain not even wanting to talk to people, cause I will have to lie to them.
    ‘God is and is God’ is the motto I exist by. All I pray is that His Will for my life be fulfilled. There rests my comfort.
    Thank you for what you do and Thank God for you.
    All the best and God Bless
    Gregory Diaz
    Studley Park, Tobago

    Like

    • Wow Gregory! Thank you for your comment. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Yes…indeed you are doing a lot and I know from experience it can be overwhelming. But the important thing is your passion and that it is coming from a good place…which is to help others and fulfill God’s will for your life. Remember it’s not what you want…but what He wants for your life and to continue to allow Him to guide you. Listen to Him speak to you through silent meditation and through other people and events in your life. Times like these we just need to step back and listen, wait and observe. Things have a way of working out once we never lose faith. I know that you will be successful and things will work out. Be patient and water the seeds and you will reap the rewards in time. Thank you for your compliment and your comment. All the best for the Christmas season and New Year’s and continue to do you. Keep in touch Gregory..Blessings.

      Like

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