You are not to blame

“How come I’m so tired all the time?”

I keep asking people around me this question, but I can’t seem to get to the root of the problem. Ever since my accident, each time I go out, I come home and sleep for hours on end. When I wake up, it’s night time…eek 😦 My pharmacist says it’s emotional. My priest says it’s psychological. Then I’ve been hearing all these terrifying stories of friends and people who have gotten into much worse car accidents and I am like…..OH-EM-GEEEEE!

Driving is such hit and miss. Scratch that. Life is such hit and miss. Today I was talking to a manager where I used to work and he was telling me that he has NEVER been in an accident! Can you imagine?! He has lived in two countries and I found this unbelievable since he is not exactly young (sorry Audrey LOL).

And it got me to thinking: what makes someone live virtually their entire life without anything really bad ever happening to them and why aren’t other people not so ‘lucky’? Or at the end of their life (like we often see) all of a sudden – problems.

Then I met some American guys at a lime/get-together a couple weeks ago and they told me they think drivers in Trinidad are very courteous and they drive better than in the States. I almost choked on my wine, because I believe the opposite to be true. I think they are from LA, but I can’t imagine anything worse than driving in our island in the sun. The number of cars I had to dodge today alone, made me lose count. It’s no wonder I’m tired.

accident 2.jpg
photo credit – Dan Carlson.

All these horror stories of driving notwithstanding, does not make me want to drive less. I will probably take less chances and not go very far or out very often late at night, unless driven by another responsible driver.

In fact, someone told me something last weekend to make me so mad as it pertains to my driving (and other things) and then I took a step back and asked myself, why I am getting so upset? Perhaps they are just looking out for me.

But driving is a necessary ‘evil’ if you want to call it that. It takes you where you want to go especially if you have a lot of stops to make in one day (like me- all the time) and it’s super convenient in cases of emergency.

Dare I say I even feel alive when I’m behind the wheel knowing I don’t have to depend on anyone or wait on public transportation. It’s exhilarating (if you can relate holler at me in the comments.)

What’s even better, is that I don’t have to spend loads of money to get where I want to go or worrying about being stranded at dark night and approached by creeps. It even clears my head as the cool breeze hits my face and seem to take away my ‘troubles’ of the day.

Here’s the thing though:

Accidents can happen if you’re a passenger in a vehicle or a bus or a train, boat or a plane.

It can happen if you’re walking down the street and step onto a manhole or trip over a stone (or like the time I fractured my toe at the beach in Tobago!).

It can happen if you’re being careful and crossing the street (like what happened to a former co-worker of mine).

It can happen if you’re minding your own business and someone bumps into you and knocks you over (like what also happened to a client).

Heck an accident can happen in your own home (which has happened to me and other people I know).

Guys an accident can happen in the SAME places, doing the SAME things you always did the day before yesterday and every day of your LIFE! If it’s supposed to happen, it’s gonna happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop destiny.


I’ll share with you what my Dad told me after my first accident a few years ago (rest his soul). He said to me, “Thank God for this day, because any other day you would have been dead.” He was suffering from Alzheimer’s at the time, so I wasn’t sure if to take this to heart, but it was so profound I had to put it into my second book.

And he’s right, I passed up and down the scene of the last accident when I got my car back and even today and it was like nothing…no trace of deja vu or any memory or weird feeling AND no sign of that car that hit me or any other!! Because it was supposed to happen that day and no other day. The reason? Who knows. We must trust in the Divine that there’s a master plan. Indeed I have learnt the lessons (read on).

photo credit –

Myth: If it’s happened to you, it’s not because you are a bad person or a bad driver or some other fable people have told us (unless you ARE a bad driver!!).

You just have to be extra cautious, continue to say your prayers and live every moment to the fullest, because life is unpredictable. Soak it in while you can.

No need to live your life in fear or be a prisoner in your own home…because when an accident strikes, no one can stop it.

The trick is how you deal with it. Do you bemoan your situation and cry “why me” and try to get sympathy from others? I told few people about what happened to me when it happened (much to the reprimand by the others) and complained only to my mama (lol). Although I didn’t even tell her when I was in the hospital until it was time to come home (the same night).

I tell people what happen now because they ask and I try to find the lessons. Also talking is therapy (for me) and it’s amazing other people also open up about what happened to them and we all learn in the process.

Indeed, our thoughts and words are very powerful and I think I may have subliminally brought this on myself (read how here).

The same can be true for attracting abundance and living a healthy and happy life – with a healthy body, mind and soul. Positive thinking is key and can combat a great deal. We all have our rough patches in life, but the key is not to dwell in negativity and learning to transform it.

I am super thankful I am alive and I know it’s for a reason. I am here to learn and pass on my lessons and share my gifts until my time on this earth is through.

How about you? Have you been spared from danger? Please let me know in the comments.

Until next time, I will be resting and working through my anxiety!

Peace & Love,
Carolyn xo

Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, keep it coming! I wanna hear from you 🙂 For more, you can find me at or follow me on Facebook or Instagram.


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