What not being able to drive taught me

Happy 1st July! (by the time I’m finishing writing this blog, it prolly won’t be the 1st anymore, but hey the sentiments remain 🙂 Hope your month is shaping up well for you and you are getting ready to grab July by the wings and fly! My birth month, so I plan to make it count!

As many may know (or not know) June wasn’t the best of oatmeals for me (read why here), but I never once questioned the plan. Instead I just kept on trucking. I’ve been indoors for most of last month and funny enough I didn’t really miss going out.

For someone who’s always on the go, I think I adjusted pretty well. As I type this I recall a random memory of my old boss in Tobago mentioning to me just that. How well I adjusted to the lifestyle and change of pace of life when I lived there. What’s my secret? Read on…

photo credit – Daniela Cuevas. http://www.unsplash.com

I had to hire a driver for the really crucial things I needed to do this month and as I told him how ridiculously fearful my mum is about my safety, he said something strange and funny to me that my friends have been telling me for ages, “Carolyn you are just so caught up in your own little bubble that you don’t realize how dangerous the world is out there!”

After I recovered from the novel shocking discovery, at first I just laughed it off, but then I realized he’s right. I’m so busy trying to get through each moment that sometimes I lose sight of the details…I’m busy looking at the bigger picture.

Those of you who know me well are probably nodding because they will tell you I am a dreamer…a risk-taker…a hopeless romantic if I dare say.

Like when I was learning to drive with my Dad as a bright-eyed and bushy tailed teenager (many moons ago), I didn’t focus on the little things (like no power steering, the squeaky brakes of the old Mazda hatchback 323 and ancient mirrors!). And that I had to drive with him for 6 months on the road after I got my license!

Why? Because I was busy focusing on the bigger picture…

What it would feel like to finally have some iota of freedom. That I would be a really great driver after all this practice! That I would one day be driving him and mom around!

Funny enough my mother still tells me the story when I called them down to the licensing office one afternoon (after being gone all day) to pay for my permit! They were soo surprised that I passed my exam after only a few weeks!

It’s a funny and cool memory of proud parents. I think my sister in the US was also so over the moon proud that she sent me $100 bucks as a gift! Today both men and women drive with me and always comment what a great and careful driver I am.

They tell me I drive like a man. The strong silent types sometimes just stay silent lest it go to my head. ha! I remember vividly my examiner even singing while I was doing my test!

photo credit – Jon Flobrant. http://www.unsplash.com

So after 20 years of driving, there I was minding my own business and out of the blue BAM! this accident happens on the heels of another mishap a few years ago. This after being incident free all this time and dodging accidents on our crazy roads almost daily!

It’s a scary thought of having to go back behind the wheel, especially in the same vehicle 😦 I opened the driver’s side today of my car when the owner of the garage told me to pop the bonnet and flashbacks of that day came flooding back. Awwee

But the more I talk to people I realize that this is a part of driving like anything else in life. Folks tell me about their cars being written off (totaled) – male and female and I am blown away and comforted at the same time that it’s not only me (though my car was not). They all got back into the driver’s seat and it’s business as usual.

But what do I do? Run away and hide? Or face my fears and get back in the driver’s seat literally? My job and my life are almost impossible without being able to drive…so my options are very limited.

I’ve spent a good chunk of my income having to pay to get all my errands done and while I would love a full time driver, it’s certainly not good for business.

Moral: I cope because I have to. I adjust because it comes naturally and I have no choice. I am a survivor and have always been. Always recovering from some failure or disappointment. I read somewhere that you’re not a success unless you have tried and failed several times over. Don’t believe me? Just ask Oprah or Richard Branson or Bill Gates or anyone who’s hugely successful.

Dwelling on your failures or pain gets you no where fast. Programming your mind to conquer your fears and accept what is, opens the door for more blessings, abundance and healing. There’s always a bright side and reason for every disappointment.

Maybe I needed to slow down my pace on life because I was working crazy hours with little sleep, poor eating habits that led to moodiness, fatigue and depression. Maybe I was focusing on the wrong things and people and needed this time to retrospect and reflect on what’s/who’s really important. Maybe I needed to see who are my true friends and support system. Maybe I have more lessons to learn about life. Maybe I need to focus on the details and be more careful about my thoughts.

The thing is when you focus on the bigger picture, you aim higher than average. You soar above the ordinary because you don’t get bogged down by the details. You don’t listen to the “No’s” but rather concentrate on the “Yes’s’ and “How To’s” .

You are mindful of the hurdles and the pain and the insecurities and the risks and the danger, but you don’t let it stop you, because you are winner. What if they laugh? What if you fall? But what if you never give up trying and reach the moon? You become what you think about. Guard your thoughts.

Peace & Love,
Carolyn xo

Please comment or follow this blog if you can relate!

For more, you can visit my website www.carolyncorreia.com, shop for my books, stay updated on Facebook or book your spot at my next Book Talk & Jazz by emailing hicomegaconsulting@gmail.com



  1. I fully understand! I was in a bad accident in 2005. The accident happened at an intersection and to this day I find my self holding my breath as I drive across any intersection. The fear gripped me for some time after, but it never stopped me from doing me…. great read as always C!


    • Thanks for this share. I dread going back behind the wheel esp. in the same car. I find myself having mental images of it happening again…which is so bad I know. The Good Book and the Law of Attraction says it’s a recipe for disaster so I’m fighting hard to shut off the negative impulse. But your experience helps to know that I am not alone. Now just to shut off these thoughts and just do me.


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