First published on Live Style magazine
Read it here: http://www.livestylett.com/#!entertain-new/c1g55
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The end of the year is always a good time to do some heavy cleaning not only the physical, but also the emotional and psychological to clear out all that funk that has built up over the last 12 months or even prior.
I usually sit on my porch on ole year’s night (New Year’s Eve) before I head out to celebrate, deliberating on each month giving thanks for the highs and lows and release. I project my mind on what I can do differently in the new year and where I want to see myself this time next year.
I visualize that I am twice as happy, have achieved what I set out to do and in a better mental place. Again I release my intentions to the Father (or the Universe or whomever/whatever you choose) in resolute faith relinquishing my attachments to the outcome and watch it all unfold.
I don’t usually make resolutions anymore, but rather mental ones that I practice every day. But this year I am inspired to do something different.
Here’s my notes to self for 2016…
- Care less what people think
I was sitting on my old back porch in Tobago recently when I got a phone call from a friend back home. I was wrestling with a decision and he said to me, “Lyn, people would always have something to say even about the best most perfect seeming people, so continue to do you.”
Lesson learnt. Despite knowing better, I often get sidetracked into listening to the naysayers, but always find the willpower to carve my own path. Constructive criticism is good, but one must be able to discern the real from the fake in order to use it positively to grow.
- Let it roll off you ‘like water off a duck’s back’
Nobody or nothing is worth jeopardizing your health, peace and sanity. If you can’t change the toxicity, find ways to distance yourself from it.
- Do what you can today and plan for tomorrow
Don’t fuss or fight or compare. Everybody’s journey is different and you are only human.
- Train your mind to positive thinking one thought at a time
Ever notice how one thought can change your whole aura and mental and physical energy? It can even affect your outlook and the achievement of your goals in life. Change doesn’t happen overnight. You can practice stillness through prayer and meditation so you channel what thoughts filter through your mind.
- Exercise more, eat healthy, drink more water, less beer & more wine!
This is the pathway to a healthier more positive you. How you treat your body and what you put into it, is what you will get out. Research has shown that Pinot noir and Pinot meunier considered two ‘super grapes’ are said to prevent the first signs of brain diseases. According to scientists three glasses of champagn weekly can “boost spatial memory” which is responsible for recording information about your environment says the UK’s Express columnist Felicity Thislethwaite.
- Set healthy boundaries with ALL your relationships from inception
It’s important to let people know up front what you expect from them and how you expect to be treated in return. This applies to family, friends or romantic relationships. That way everyone is a happy camper and will tread carefully and decide how much they want to invest in a relationship with you from the start.
- Have a safe space you can go to regroup
Everyone needs a quiet retreat where they can go to refuel or be themselves. Whether it’s a special part of your house, your yard or car, even your favourite restaurant/bar or a cabin in the countryside or another island or country, we all need to get away sometimes to return to our center.
- Maintain your identity, don’t let life or people change who you are
It’s important to know who you are inside and out so that no one can come along to ruffle your feathers. Know thyself and love thyself until you are completely comfortable so that no matter what, you will always stay true to you. The genuine ones will always gravitate to your energy.
- Stay away from toxic people, discern who are really for you
This one bears repeating. As the old folks say, “not every skin teeth is a smile” and I learnt this the hard way. At the end of the day everyone has their own agendas and there are a sparse few who are really genuinely in your corner. Pray for that spirit of discernment so that you don’t have to burn to learn. Observe a person’s behaviour over time and don’t rush in too soon.
- Pick your battles and learn when to walk away
Another friend has been telling me this for years and much to her chagrin, I don’t always take heed, but I am again learning my lesson slowly. Having the last word feels good to get off your chest, but sometimes you can’t change how people think no matter what you say or do. It’s just a waste of energy, heart and time. Self-preservation is key.
- Be dependent on NO ONE for an extended period of time
People may appear to do things in the spirit of giving without wanting anything in return, but sometimes days; months or even years later you may get a rude awakening. Whether it seems to be the kindness of strangers, family, friends or romantic partners, reproach is a word in your vocabulary that you can do without out. As far as possible, do as much today and work twice as hard to make a better way tomorrow so you can always take care of yourself and your needs fully.
So that’s it! That’s my advice for 2016! I’ll post this up where I can remind myself daily and journal my progress. Have a lovely Christmas and a New Year filled with peace, love, joy, contentment and abundance always.
Carolyn Kristy Correia is an author, communications consultant and motivational speaker. For more you can follow her blog carolynkcorreia.wordpress.com or Facebook – CarolynCorreiaAuthor. Her books are available on Amazon.com and locally at RIK, Metropolitan Book Suppliers (Capital Plaza), The Book Sauce (i95), Charran’s St. James and Books and Office Supplies, TLH Mall, Tobago.