What Women and Men Want

So after 2 years I’ve finally finished reading the book ‘Think Like A Man’ by Steve Harvey. Interestingly enough Steve Harvey had a ghostwriter who by the way did an amazing job bringing his words to life. I did not even know it wasn’t him doing the actual writing until the end of the book.

To be honest one of my former bosses sent everyone in the department the e-book in what could have been 2009…I started, but never finished…took it with me when I moved to Tobago in 2013…never finished….continued reading when I returned to Trinidad the following year….and finally it’s November 2015 and I finished it in one night! Whoopee!

photo credit - Julia Caesar. www.unsplash.com
photo credit – Julia Caesar. http://www.unsplash.com

My thoughts are just random and all over the place because of the large gaps in between reading. I can’t say that those things he suggested will work with all males in real life, but it was definitely enlightening. This brings me to a conversation I had on Whatsapp with one of my male friends about two months ago…

I asked my friend who is somewhere in his 40s why he likes to date younger twenty something women and the answer was funny and eye opening.

Besides the obvious….the physical, he noted that younger women have less hang ups and baggage with nothing to prove…they are not competing with him, nor wary of him wanting what they have, nor do they care about his intentions….which brings me to my next point…

Steve Harvey said something interesting…to paraphrase….(hope I am interpreting this correctly) men would just go along with anything if women don’t set standards for themselves. So to even the scales…do you please your partner by not pressuring him unduly or too early on and just live in the moment or do you make your demands up front?

photo credit - Austin Ban. www.unsplash.com
photo credit – Austin Ban. http://www.unsplash.com

I guess each situation is different and everyone must know what’s right for them. But I think relationships are like trial and error, there’s no hard or fast rules to ‘eternal’ bliss and harmony because each one and each person is so very different with their own hangups and past.

We can however learn from our perceived mistakes and know what we want (and don’t want) as individuals whether male or female.

I don’t profess to be any expert on love…far from it, but I do know life is too short and volatile to try to live your life pleasing others whether it’s the person in your life or society’s standards….So what if you never get married or stay shacked up or single?

The most important question is what do you want to do? You must know what you want and not get pressured by what everyone including the (social) media says you should do….or get cornered into something you don’t want because you can’t say no or don’t want to say no because it feels oh so good to you or the next person.

As for me, well… I’m learning every day and taking it as it comes…c’est la vie! #TrialAndError

Happy Weekend everyone!

Peace & Love xo

photo credit - Aaron Burden. www.unsplash.com
photo credit – Aaron Burden. http://www.unsplash.com

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