Is It Normal To Have Doubts?

I just completed my first book talk at the national library in the city where I live and I’m elated…somewhat. What do you call it when no matter how many people tell you that you were great, you still have doubts!? Overachiever? Lacking confidence? Hmmm. I’m not sure, but that’s me. I guess I wouldn’t be doing this, if it was the latter!

IMG_20150806_110223This was not like the times before when I know and felt I did a great job. This was different. This was a REAL up close and personal book talk. Different from any other speaking engagements I’ve done before over the years. I felt like I was at a press conference! But it was cool. I was able to answer on the spot and share my innermost feelings and thoughts unrestrained. It was REAL.

I guess the feeling I am experiencing is wondering if something I said at some point, made someone in the audience maybe judge me or have different thoughts about their life! A few remarked that I am “in the big league!” Oh em gee. I said to them, “I’m really not, you know…” To this someone else replied and nodded, “You are!” Oh my.

I stressed that I have flaws. I stressed that I have internal struggles and I am a work in progress, still growing and learning…and not nearly as to where and who I know I can become. I am grateful however that they all walked away inspired. I did it! It is truly a gift from above.

It is definitely a very humbling experience to know that someone else is soaking in your words and it’s hitting home and making a difference. It makes me want to try harder to be a better person, daughter, writer and speaker.

IMG_20150806_111152People have been offering encouragement and praise since I started my own business, but this time it was so REAL. In fact just this afternoon a potential (corporate) client, who I haven’t heard from in several months emailed me one of the nicest emails I’ve ever read!

Moral: even if you think no one is paying you any mind, someone is always watching and taking note. So always put your best foot forward and don’t discount anyone or anything unless they come out and say to your face otherwise. Don’t listen to the naysayers, think for yourself.

What made my day

Just about a dozen pIMG_20150806_120319eople showed up and my mother said this was good for a first try. What made my day is when a woman in the audience by the name of Joy told me afterwards that she saw the flyer at the library and knew she had to come back to start her birthday with my book talk! Wow!

I am also grateful for my friend who gave up his day to assist me with the heavy things and offer support. It was very nerve racking trying to get someone to help as everyone either had work or was travelling, but I am glad it all worked out in the end. We celebrated my mini success with lunch and a drink. What a great way to end the day 🙂

My marketing support told me he thinks I should go on the other talk shows to promote my book, but I am hesitant. My mother says, “I am playing mas’ and ‘fraid powder!” It’s a Caribbean expression meaning you’re starting something but afraid to go all the way. I guess so.

I am due to appear on an afternoon talk show next week and I think I can handle that, but the morning shows! Ohwee…has a huge viewership and I have cold feet! Do you think I’ll be fine? This is REAL. I guess we’ll see. Time will tell.

Some good news:

I finished the article I’ve been postponing for weeks. YAY! Now, the sky is the limit. I also got my first motivational article published this Tuesday in the newspaper I write for! Woopee! You can read it here: Why life does not end at 30, 40:,215127.html

When my friend emailed the scanned copy to me, I think the neighbours heard my screams a few houses away! LOL. It happens every time! LIVE YOUR PASSION folks. Live it out loud. Think it out loud. Say it out loud. Until you are exactly where you want to be.

It works for me and today I am free….(a few dollars less than in my ‘cushy’ corporate job mind you…lol)….but living my dream nevertheless and the rewards are endless. My life is limitless…Superfragilistic AMAZING!! The rest will come in time. So everyone says and I trust that it will.

Happy Friday!!!!! It’s the weekend baby. Make it Count.

photo credit - Renaldo Alcala
photo credit – Renaldo Alcala

Peace & Love xo

For more photos, you can “like” me on facebook:


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