On Monday night I attended a meditation class. My first. It was cool. Except I reached a few minutes late and walked around the building a few times trying to get an entry point! The doors were all locked. I heard persons speaking in tongues and decided to knock on the door. Finally someone told me it was upstairs only to get turned away by my fear of entering a dark, empty room. Drat! It was the right venue, but see what fear and silence does?!
Yikes. So after a few more trips down the stairs then up again, I finally “found my way”. Hurray! So I missed the initial “talk” and I basically sat there in silence with my own thoughts for a good 15-20 minutes. What did I do?
I reflected on what transpired just before I got there. My neighbour blocked my driveway (yet again for the millionth time over the past few years) so I had to honk on my horn with all my might at that hour of the night. Hence me being late. Sigh. Now you see part of my reason for moving to Tobago?! lol. I felt my anger subside.
I reflected on my business/company and all the meetings and feedback I have been receiving thus far for the year. I reflected on my book and my editor’s comments and all the work I have to do still. I thought about my car insurance premium that I had to pay this week!
I thought about balancing all the things in my now packed schedule and how exciting it all is. I said a silent prayer for my Dad and released. I thought about my friend who also lost her Dad this past week. I thought about everyone who was going through a loss and how they are coping. I prayed for my Mom to come to terms with her loss.
I looked around and wondered what the other persons in the group were reflecting on….then I returned to my centre. I heard the bell chime very low three times, meanwhile following the lit candle and the red light on the CD player all the while. The most beautiful serene music came on which I thought was Latin, but later found out was really English. It reminded my of the Ave Maria I played at my Dad’s funeral. I felt a peace wash over me…thru and thru.
Indeed it was interesting. I exchanged greetings with the host who invited me and apologized for my tardiness. I learnt that once you let go of your fear you can get to the church on time! lol. No just kidding, I learnt that when we overcome our fears, what seemed crippling, can actually be the key to finding our peace, letting go of those troubling thoughts and embracing the unknown to achieve what can be viewed as safety and wholeness.
I look forward to next week’s session. I will be on time this time. I plan to get there a half hour before and listen to “the talk”. I also plan to meditate some more about my neighbour. Some things never change.
Peace & Love