|photo credit – lerablog.org|
It’s July and so much can change in the blink of an eye.
I am infinitely grateful to have lived to see another month that is so special to me. This Monday I had a near death experience yet again that helped me to appreciate the value and purpose of me being alive.
Since then I have somewhat lost my zeal to write and continue my projects that I was working on so relentlessly.
Before I divulge the details of my trauma, I will silently acknowledge all the people that have expressed concern and assisted in my time of need.
This experience has given me a greater appreciation for the people and things that are most important. It also taught me to stop stressing about the irrelevant things that don’t matter.
It is also a warning to curb bothersome behaviours and thought patterns and as my guardian angel (in human form who came to my rescue) said to me: slow down metaphorically. I have since started shutting down my computer at 10pm and limiting the extended hours of work.
In the few seconds of lucidity when I thought that It. Was. All. Over. all I could think about is my family and how hard it would be for them when they found out. But thank God I say my prayers every day and night and I was uninjured despite the gravity of the situation.
I will not divulge the details of my almost fatal experience right here in this blog today, but I needed to vent on some other issues and I feel that this is the best platform to do so as someone else may be able to identify. It’s strange people who are close to me always marvel at how much I have overcome in my short time on this planet, despite the odds. Most of all I have always had to deal with negativity in my life…all around…always.
I need very little to make me happy and high on the list is a close inner circle of genuine family and friends and my first love: writing. Sometimes the two don’t mesh but I always listen to my heart and do what it tells me to do.
Over the years and even more recently, I have been discouraged and criticized harshly for my style of writing and the contents (mostly by members of my own family believe it or not)…either for writing too impersonal and later too personal or just for writing and the place it is coming from!
It’s been very difficult to digest the source of these disparaging and personal attacks, despite numerous attempts to explain how happy and buoyant it makes me feel and how effortless it is to write when it comes from a natural source of inspiration and life experiences/revelations.
But after I weighed all the factors, I decided to listen to the many good reviews, comments and words of gratitude that I have received over the years by my friends, acquaintances, customers, lecturers even my doctors and other persons with whom I do business. The statistics on my blog and social media accounts from countries all around the world for the past 6 years also act as an impetus to continue doing what I do.
I must come to terms with the fact that not everyone is made up the same way. Not everyone would appreciate your view or like the same things you like. Not everyone is equipped to move beyond their present state and have the ability to rationalize logically and overcome physical and mental obstacles. And not everyone has the willpower to move beyond the limitations that are sometimes just a mental, transient state if you condition your mind correctly and listen to your heart.
Then other times plainly and simply, people would not be happy for you for their own personal reasons and that’s their prerogative. Yet at times, it’s very disturbing and hard for me to grasp these things: why persons would want to lash out repeatedly in very ugly ways…for no apparent reason, despite you simply presenting the truth and cold hard facts about a situation. It’s difficult to wrap my head around the reasons why things would get so out of control and arbitrary as if I was not even a part of the discourse!
I have however devised a mechanism to avoid such toxicity in my life…which I wrote about on Elite Daily a few months ago: http://elitedaily.com/life/4-peaceful-ways-to-rid-your-life-of-toxic-people/. I need to refer to that many times so as to internally deal with troubling issues like this. It’s wise to keep my distance and avoid close contact at all costs.
There was an advertisement on television when I was growing up and the slogan was: “Patience is virtue and virtue is grace”…school children of my time, never forgot that…it was the butt of many jokes! I found out it was later attributed to Dick King-Smith.
Yes indeed, I need to distance myself from negativity so as to find my centre and realize my ambitions/purpose which we were all enabled with the power to achieve, if only we tap into that inner strength and learn to put the past behind.
We are all on a learning curve and I have found that I can use the negativity to improve and push even further to achieve all I was meant to be in life.
As I take this time to heal and unwind, I shut out the external “noise” and continue to work on me. I was given not only a second chance, but a third chance at life. I plan on making the most of it.
Cheers to the weekend and Happy 4th July to my American friends!